Independent Child

Self-care:

What to expect when
As your child gets older he'll learn — and want — to do more things for himself, from popping waffles in the toaster to breaking out the vacuum cleaner to tidy up his bedroom (you hope!). While watching your child grow increasingly independent can be bittersweet, learning to take care of himself is an important part of your child's personal and social development.

Skills he'll work at

Taking a bath or shower: At this age a lot of children are comfortable taking a bath or shower on their own, though you don't want to be too far away, says Denise Aloisio, a developmental-behavioral pediatrician in Rochester, New York. Stay within earshot in case your child needs a hand. Aloisio also recommends that parents lower the temperature on the family's hot-water heater to no more than 120 degrees Fahrenheit, so a child can't accidentally scald himself. And always encourage your child always to turn the cold water on first.

Preparing breakfast: Six-year-olds can fix themselves cold cereal and pour juice or milk. Eight-year-olds are probably ready to use the toaster oven for heating muffins, bagels, and other breakfast items.

Packing his backpack: By the time your child is about 8, he should be able to pack his schoolbag with all the necessities for the day, such as books, food, musical instruments, and sports gear. Until then, you'll want to help him gather the right stuff.

Making his lunch: With limited choices and some guidance from you, your school-age child is capable of packing his own lunch. Take a peek to make sure that what he's bringing to school is, for the most part, nutritious — no potato chip-marshmallow sandwiches, for instance.

Helping out around the house: Children this age can pick up their toys, make their beds, and clean their rooms — they can even take the vacuum cleaner out for a spin. They can also lend a hand with tasks in the kitchen and garden.

What you can do
Always, encouragement is key. Whenever your child tries his hand at a new skill, tell him you're proud he made the effort (regardless of the result) and urge him to try again. Don't always jump in to help; it's essential that he have enough time to master tasks on his own, at his own pace. Try not to pressure him before he's ready, either. Be flexible — if making his own lunch means bologna every day for a week, so be it. More important things, like independence and self-sufficiency, are at stake. If he misses a few sections of carpet as he vacuums, let it go. The more he practices his new skills, the better he'll get.

Keep a watchful eye on your child as he experiments with doing things he hasn't tried before, and explain why he can't do everything for himself. Tell him, for instance, why it's not safe for him to walk to his friend's house alone, or why he can't fire up the barbecue just yet. He probably won't be happy about it, but he'll understand your reasoning.

What to watch out for

Children develop skills differently, some more quickly than others, but if your child actively resists attempting any of the tasks above or shows no interest in learning them, talk to his pediatrician.

What's ahead

As the years roll by, your child will get better and better at taking care of himself. At around age 10 or 11, he'll be able to stay home alone, for instance, for short periods and with clear instructions. Then it's simply a matter of time before he can do laundry and cook dinner, not to mention drive himself to soccer practice — or, better yet, bring you breakfast in bed.

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Mungkin kerana aku sendiri dari keluarga yang defensive. tambahan pulak aku merupakan anak bungsu dalam keluarga .. aku sememangnya tidak berpeluang melakukan sebarang kegiatan yang diluar kemampuan aku. Tapi hubby lain.. dia sememangnya suka kalau anak-anak dia lebih berdikari.. lebih adventure agar lebih berkeyakinan ... hubby aku selalu pesan agar kita sebagai parents sepatutnya memberi galakan atas apa yang anak-anak kita mahu lakukan bukan menghalang atau memarahi. Jika betul apa yang mereka ingin lakukan itu merbahaya atau memng salah.. kita sebagai ibu bapa sepatutnya menasihati atau betul-betul menerangkan kepada mereka kenapa perkara itu salah ... jadilah ibu bapa yang kreatif bila mendidik anak ... hormati pilihan atau pendapat mereka ...